Stoic Loving-Kindness Meditation For Compassion And Service

Loving-kindness is usually associated with Buddhism, but the Stoics also believed we are made for each other. This guided meditation moves through three forms of compassion: care for one person, care for humanity, and the willingness to be useful. It is a quiet, sit-down practice. You will bring people to mind, notice the resistance that appears, and practise widening the circle without forcing a particular feeling. Use it when irritation has made your world feel small, or when you want to meet other people with a little more patience.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Welcome to a session of Stoic Loving Kindness Meditation. The Stoics are often mischaracterized as unloving or despondent, heartless even, but this is inaccurate. The Stoics actually were very loving, and in fact, social life was part of their key doctrine. They believed that living according to nature, which was their ultimate end, was based around the idea of using reason for the betterment of society, since human nature includes sociability and reason, which makes us distinct from other creatures in the animal kingdom. They also placed a great emphasis on virtue, excellence of character, which one could argue is difficult to display without other people. It's difficult to show justice and discipline and courage when you're living alone in a cave somewhere. But it's easy to show courage when you feel fear, but you do the right thing and help someone or save someone. It's easy to show justice if you have an incentive to not act justly and you still do. And so we are about to do some stoic loving kindness meditation to increase our compassion, and we are going to be focusing on three distinct areas: love of people, love of humanity as a whole, and love of service. By practicing stoic loving kindness regularly, you will develop self-compassion, which some researchers say is more solid than self-esteem. You'll naturally increase your patience and tolerance when it comes to dealing with difficult people. You'll find spontaneous moments of joy simply from having a bigger heart. And you'll start to become more motivated because you have the healthy fuel source of love, which is very powerful and will sustain you far greater than fear or pain can. So take a moment to sit comfortably, relax into whatever posture is most comfortable, bring a sort of relaxed alertness to your mind. You can take a deep breath or drop your shoulders, bring your attention to your body. And now let's begin. Start by bringing to mind a person who you have an easy relationship with? Marcus said, Adapt yourself to the circumstances you have drawn, and the men among whom your lot has fallen, love them and truly. Marcus was a master of showing compassion to people who he had troubles with, and this massively reduced his suffering because his mind was not a war zone filled with ill will and vengeance towards other people. Let's bring to mind someone we have trouble with. Difficult person, a co-worker, a family member, a partner, a friend, an acquaintance, someone who might have hurt you, someone who you don't get along with, someone who just gets under your skin? How can you view their behavior from a compassionate place? What's the frame you can choose? So, for example, how would their parents who raised them, who love them, see their behavior?

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Or how would their therapist or coach see their behavior?

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Let's step outside of our personal interpretation and story, as difficult as it is, and try to understand this person. What does this person want and think and feel? How are they like you? Do they want happiness as you do?

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Do they want to be free of suffering like you do?

SPEAKER_02 9:05

What do they need?

SPEAKER_00 9:24

What opportunities did they not have that you did? That you have. And just try to be even ten percent more compassionate in their presence. Now we turn our attention to love of humanity. We're very self-absorbed. We work, we get money, we buy stuff, we do healing, we improve ourselves, then we chase pleasures, we have goal after goal, we read book after book, we're always chasing that new lesson, that new understanding. We're trying to make our lives as rich as possible so we can be as happy as we can possibly be. This is wonderful. Providing it doesn't make you lose sight of the fact that we are embedded in a network of other humans and that we rely on other humans for our very survival. Wherever you are, just look around and think of the ingenuity and hours of work and transportation and design that brought everything that is in your environment to you. Even a simple meal or a drink are so many ingredients and components. Seneca says, So long as we draw breath, so long as we live among humans, let us cherish humanity, let us not cause fear to anyone, nor danger. Let us rise above losses, outrages, conflicts, and taunts. Let us bear our short lived ills with magnanimity. So let's just spend a few moments now thanking humanity from the bottom of our hearts for what it has done for us. Bring to mind three things that humanity, society or civilization has given you large or small, obvious or subtle, three things that you are grateful for. You are the sailboat, and it makes sense to spend some time getting the sailboat in order, making it safe, solid, efficient, making sure that it works well, it looks good, it has a nice name. When it's out at sea, in some sense, you want to make the tailboat magnificent and impressive. You want to make sure that it has all of the right equipment, it's all organized really well. But what then? Do we just leave the tailboat in the harbour? Or do we take it on an adventure and test it, put it to use, even if it's risky, even if it's not comfortable? And this is where many of us get stuck when it comes to self-improvement. We do a lot of work on ourselves, and it's great, it's vital. Self-care, study, healing, it's fantastic. But what's it for? Where are you going? What's your adventure going to be? What's the hero's journey? We can start by thinking about the people that inspire us. Think of a few individuals that inspire you. You can know these people, but you don't have to. What do they exhibit or what do they do that you'd like a piece of? And here's the important question. How do they serve you and how do they serve others? What do they do that is in service and with all of these ideas percolating in your mind? How would you like to serve other people? You ought to live for the other fellow if you want to live for yourself. And so in what way are you going to live for the other fellow? I encourage you to return to this meditation and also practice throughout the day love of people, love of humanity, and love of service. As you deepen your sense of appreciation and compassion in these areas, you will find that your alignment and focus and purpose in life will significantly increase, and anxiety and neurotic thoughts will decrease. Farewell.