The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks
You've read the books. You know what Marcus Aurelius would do. But when life gets hard, the philosophy disappears. This podcast is for people who want to close the gap between knowing Stoicism and actually living it. New episodes weekly. Start with the free 7-Day Stoic Challenge: https://www.stoicchallenge.co/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show-description&utm_content=global
The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks
Stoic Insult Training: Practise Staying Calm Under Verbal Attack
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An insult only stings if you let it through. The Stoics had specific methods for taking the heat out of it, and in this one we do not just discuss them, we drill them.
I walk through how the ancients handled verbal jabs, then run an audio simulation where I insult you and you practise meeting each one with a steadier frame. It feels odd at first, maybe even funny, but that is how skills get built. You rehearse them in low stakes so they are there when someone has a go at you in real life.
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During this sound journey I will be throwing generic insults at you and you will practice the art of responding like a stoic sage. First, let's recap the seven strategies you can use to respond to insults. Number one ask if it's true. If it is true, why be annoyed by something that's self evident? If it's not true, why be annoyed by what's not true? two ask if the insulter is ignorant and if they are, perhaps you need to educate them rather than be offended. three, ask if the insulter is someone you respect. If so, then their insult is good feedback. If not, then you have done well to be insulted by them. four. Ask if the insulter has emotional difficulties, and if you should instead show them pity and compassion rather than anger. five. Ask if you have truly been harmed or if you have actually harmed yourself by allowing yourself to think you have been harmed. six. Positively reinterpret the insult with humour. seven. Embrace the insult, exaggerated to comic proportions and laugh it off. Now I will provide you with some insults and a space after which for you to practice responding. You can respond in your mind or if you prefer, out loud. When it comes to choosing your response, just use whatever sting elimination strategy you want. You can practice others tomorrow. If you feel uncomfortable during this exercise, that's fine. With practice the discomfort will ease and your resilience will increase. Remember, this is social Jedi training. None of the insults I say are directed specifically at you. We do this exercise so that if we encounter situations in real life where we get insulted, we will be able to handle that with much more wisdom and more tranquility. Let's begin. So you're the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen. You know your body, that thing that your head is on, is really out of shape and it's kind of disgusting me. I gotta say, right? You're really quite stupid, and it makes me laugh that you think you're actually like smart. You're not. You're really, really stupid. Some of the ideas and beliefs you have, honestly, you are really have you ever taken an IQ test? Oh, you're into stoicism now. Oh, okay, okay. And and you think that this is gonna make you suddenly like happy or like or what? What are you aiming to do?
SPEAKER_02It's kind of pathetic.
SPEAKER_01Why are you reading? That's really not gonna help you. You're you're already fucked up.
SPEAKER_02You're a dork.
SPEAKER_01Nobody likes you. Not really, like I mean, seriously, nobody likes you, not even your own parents like you. So your breath stinks. Get away from me, don't talk to me, go brush your teeth. You, my friend, are a waste of fresh air. Can you stop breathing?
SPEAKER_00Seriously, like you're taking up other people's valuable oxygen.
SPEAKER_01I don't think you have a creative bone in your body. Your work looks like it was done by a ten year old. Huh, you're into some really weird stuff, aren't you? Can you get away from me, please?
SPEAKER_00You are probably the biggest loser I've ever met in my life. Just saying. Have you ever been in any kind of, you know, like relationship with, you know, like an actual person or whatever? Because my first impression of you was that like no one would really want you No one will ever love you because you're too weird, you're a freak.
SPEAKER_01Can you stop talking, please?
SPEAKER_02It's a your voice is going through me.
SPEAKER_00You ever shut up? You're talking about all this stuff I'm not interested in.
SPEAKER_02Be quiet, please.
SPEAKER_00You have uh awful fashion sense. Your clothes are appalling. How can you think you look good?
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_00You seem to think that you're like a good person, but you're not. Like, I've seen you get angry many times. I've seen you be rude to people. You think I'm bad, you're a lot worse, you just try to hide it more.
SPEAKER_02That concludes the list of insults.
SPEAKER_00Tomorrow, listen to this again and practice responding to each insult in a slightly different way. You've done some really good work here, some really good, uncomfortable work. Now I recommend that you do something that will make you feel good and accepted and validated. I love you.